Little Talks
by wicked-nachos-09
Summary: How they came to be Maria and Natasha Hill. A prequel to The Life and Times of Maria and Natasha Hill. Black Hill
1. Natasha

You should have been dead.

You were sitting in a dark room alone who knows where; instead your would-be executioner had looked you, broken your arm and a rib and taken you to his handler.

You could hear him being yelled at while your arm was being set.

You slowed your breathing and counted; you had been sitting in the corner of this _cell_ for three hours and fourteen minutes.

You blink when the door opens; a light hits your eyes unexpectedly and a figure walks in with a file.

You think they're going to try the scare tactics; you're wrong.

You're confronted with a beautiful woman in an unfamiliar uniform; she stares at you suspiciously, asks if you're hungry and lays a sandwich on the table.

You hear her introduce herself; Deputy Director Maria Hill for SHIELD.

You're asked questions and questions; you remained silent for most of them.

You didn't see her open the file she brought with her once until you were silent for too long.

You are Natalia Alianovna Romanova; an assassin and spy for the Soviet Union.

You're the Black Widow.

You are a product of the Red Room project.

You remain silent.

You are asked one more time why you are here; they obviously know who you are but they want to know what you want so they can decide what to do with you.

You tell her; they can't protect you, and you don't want to kill people so blindly anymore.

You explain; your ledger was dripping in red, you were beginning to feel guilt and remorse over a list of names you kept in the back of your mind of all of your assassinations.

You talk; you're not sure you're human but you're afraid at the same time that that is all you are.

You look up and you're shaking; it's a combination of low body heat and struggling to maintain control over yourself.

You don't think she was expecting you to be so open; she simply notes your shivers and nods.

You're told to eat your sandwich; she leaves with her file.

You're transferred half an hour later; it's more a room than a cell.

You have a bed and a blanket.


	2. Maria

You can't help but be curious.

You know from her file that she is nothing to risk your career over; so why did the Hawk do it?

You were the one to question her months ago; you agreed with your boss that she could be an asset after deprogramming.

You had kept a close eye on her; she kept to herself and only interacted when she was told to.

You watched as often as you could; she was given restricted access on the helicarrier and has attended all of her medical appointments without fuss.

You read all of her reports; she was harder to deprogram than the psych department originally thought but her combat and espionage skills are the best you've ever seen.

You've heard about Red Room and their regime; you're not surprised that she doesn't understand how to interact.

You try one day; she sits down at a table in the mess with lunch and you join her.

You're rarely seen on this level of the helicarrier; you usually eat in your office.

You make small talk; how she's adapting to SHIELD.

You're met with a blank stare; she knows you read the reports and talk to the medical officers.

You tell her that you want to hear it from her; you go one step further and explain that she is not a prisoner or a soldier here.

You call her by her surname; she speaks up for the first time.

You're asked not to call her Romanova; she doesn't want to be that person anymore.

You are Maria Hill; Deputy Directed for a World Security Organisation and you are drawn to this young woman.

You can't help but be curious about her; you can't seem to read her and understand what is going on in her mind.

You're not sure why you are being so nice; there are level six agents that still fear you.

You think you should be suspicious; she was KGB but instead you feel like you're becoming invested.

You've talked to her twice in the four months since she arrived; you agree not to call her Romanova anymore.

You're offered a small polite smile; maybe she does know how to interact.

You tell her that she's making progress even if it is slow.

You leave her to her lunch.

You hear a 'thank you' as you walk away.


	3. Natasha 1

You've never been so unsure.

You've been at SHIELD for seven months, two weeks and four days; you go where the Deputy Director goes so she can keep an eye on your treatment.

Your medical team follows as well; your deprogramming schedule cannot be interrupted for anything.

You were visited by the Deputy Director in _your_ room; she needs to know your name.

You stare blankly before you understand; you tell her who you are.

You've been given Level Two access; you are officially an Agent of SHIELD.

You still have to see the psych; just so they're sure.

You train with the Cavalry; you're put on your arse more times than you can count and it disturbs you.

You were taught to be the best; you're at the bottom of the food chain here.

You're put through every kind of simulation and training exercise they can come up with for two more months before you're given a handler; baby steps you're told.

Your missions are mostly recon; this pisses you off.

You have more skills than what is needed for recon.

You're wrong; you don't have any skills.

You are Natasha Romanoff; you are no longer a spy or an assassin and you have to learn from scratch how to be what you already are.

You're given leave once a month; for two days you're allowed off the helicarrier for forty-eight hours only.

You're tracked the first few times you leave; you don't know what to do with yourself.

You end up in Central Park and you watch for hours; you don't sleep because you're free and you're confused.

You're not being told what to do or who to be; you have complete freedom to create this Natasha you've named yourself as.

You let your mind wander to what you might like to eat or to wear or even to live; every now and then she enters your mind.

You want to know why she's being nice to you; you've talked to her three times in almost a year but she's different and you can't tell how.

You eat a cheeseburger on your way back to base.

You're greeted by your wanderer; she's surprised you came back.

You agree; you're surprised too.


	4. Maria 1

You still curious over a year later.

You've monitored her the entire time; it took her almost an entire year and a complete recreation of identity to become more comfortable.

You've seen her make an acquaintance; you wouldn't call Barton a friend just yet.

You authorize her missions; give her some harder tasks to challenge her skill set.

You want to be her handler; it's against the rules because of your workload so you give her to Coulson and tell him not to break her.

You still keep a close watch.

You haven't been able to tear your eyes away; you've watched her spar with other agents and you momentarily forget who and where you are.

You invite her out for a drink; it was her first major shit storm that was supposed to be a mission since she arrived.

You take her to a bar not far from your apartment; you talk to her about anything other than what shouldn't have happened.

You listen; she tells you that she likes New York pizza but not Chicago's, she has become fond of jazz music, she likes her hair in a ponytail and doesn't mind hanging out with Barton as long as he doesn't start singing.

You ask her if it's true; Russian's can handle Vodka more than they can beer.

You're given an answer with a smirk; you'll have to hang out again if you want to find out because she won't mix drinks.

You think you've made progress; you store these little facts she tells you in the back of your mind.

You tell her little things too; you love running and you enjoy your job except for your boss and Coulson is the closest thing you have to friend.

You're an ice-queen to everyone else; she disagrees with you.

You're Deputy Director Maria Hill; you're becoming addicted to a former assassin and spy whose red hair and green eyes have hooked you in.

You can't pinpoint what it is about her; you do another shot to prevent your brain from figuring it out but that's probably one too many.

You end up at your apartment; you know it's a bad idea but you don't stop.

You learn just how innocent she isn't; you claw at her back and she bites your neck.

Your sheets twist around your bodies; she takes you and makes you hers.

You let her; you leave your mark on her body.

You want her.


	5. Natasha 2

You keep yourself busy.

You take every assignment you can get your hands on; you meet the Director for the first time when he steals you for a mission.

You do everything you can to avoid her; admittedly that is hard considering that she is your superior officer.

You end up in Malibu babysitting a billionaire playboy; when you return you knock on her door.

You know it's a bad idea when she opens up.

You're met with complete silence and a stony glare; she lets you in reluctantly because she must understand that it's the only way to get you to leave.

You explain; you've never been given a choice before.

You tell her; you were always given orders of what to think, what to do, how to dress and act while doing it.

You apologise; you're not entirely sure what to do because you have a freedom you've never had before.

You cut your hair and you weren't punished.

You're Natasha Romanoff; you choose her even though you're not entirely sure what that means.

You're allowed further into the apartment; she hasn't been able to stop thinking about, craving you and she has been unable to stay angry at you.

You stay the night; nothing is instigated other than kissing.

You wake up feeling safe; you're wrapped up in her arms and you can feel her breath on the back of your neck lightly.

You have to leave; your lips meet her in a greeting and a goodbye.

Your plane to Budapest is waiting.


	6. Maria 2

You've been going for three days straight.

You had woke to a typical day on Wednesday; you kissed her good morning and goodbye and shared a look over the bridge as she left.

You hadn't stopped since.

You were overseeing several missions at once; four were successes but Budapest went to hell in a hand basket, the Hawk needed to be med evac'd and no one had seen her since.

You've had search teams looking with no luck; she had returned to base and walked out in casual clothes.

You were worried and you couldn't leave until things settled down; 72 hours is a long time to disappear.

You were glad to be rid of the place for a while; the Director had taken over and a text message directed you to the L line train she had been riding for hours.

You found her in the corner furthest from the door; her back was to you and her hood was up and you're pretty sure that that's your jacket.

You handed her a coffee; she took you hand tightly and refused to look at you.

You didn't complain; you think it's so you won't see the tear tracks and presence of fear you know is written on her face.

You don't have to prompt too much; she's getting attached to people and she doesn't understand.

You don't have to prompt her at all; she can't bear it if he becomes another mark in her ledger and she doesn't think she will cope if you ever become one too.

You're asked about _Clint_; he used to be 'Agent' and then 'Barton' and now he's 'Clint' so he must mean something to her if she's let herself get close.

You wonder what you mean to her.

You wrap an arm around her shoulders; you tell her that she is human and that's not a bad thing to be.

You can still see she is scared; you spend another three hours riding the train with her.

You are Maria Hill, second in command for a World Security Organisation; you press your lips to those of a dirty and tired and probably in need of medical attention assassin in the middle of Central Park under a weak sunlight.

You tell her that you're falling for her; you feel her tense and you definitely don't bring out the 'L' word just in case.

You tell her you're not going anywhere; she relaxes just enough in your arms to press a kiss to your lips.

You're made to promise.

You don't hesitate.


	7. Natasha 3

You feel so very lost.

You know exactly where you are; your quarters at the base are but you're used to being confined because it helps you think.

You don't understand your mind anymore; you're lines of thought aren't so clear anymore.

You're scared of the feeling in your chest; you have let yourself become attached and you have no idea what that means.

You've had to see the shrink; your reaction to Budapest resulted in a dozen sessions before you were allowed back into the field.

You can't tell what works better; _talking _to the shrink or all the nights you've spent in the last few months curling up with her in bed.

You've woken up with more smiles that you can count; you've fallen asleep the same way.

You're called a dumbass; Barton thinks you're being stupid for punishing yourself when he's not holding a grudge and simply wants his bow.

You let yourself be willingly distracted; you've ridden the train for hours with her, making up stories about strangers you see at the other end of the carriage.

You begin to understand what it all means; you're human and you've become attached and that's not a bad thing.

You have people in your corner; Coulson and Barton and your _girlfriend_ all fought for no reprimand for leaving base without authorization after a major catastrophe when you hadn't even been debriefed.

You're Natasha Romanoff and you're starting to understand what it means to be normal; you can laugh and genuinely enjoy yourself without having to put on an act.

You realize one night when you're getting ready for bed; you've unknowingly fell in love somewhere between having an arm and a rib broken and babysitting that billionaire playboy.

You're at her apartment and leaning against the headboard as she finishes in the bathroom; there are pieces of you all over the place, in the wardrobe, on the night stand and the coffee table downstairs, in the pantry and even in the cookie jar because you've become fond of her yoyo biscuits.

You're the first to say the words; she stops mid-step to the bed and visibly gulps.

You momentarily think you've said something bad; she is rarely unable to take something in stride.

You see her recover; she crawls across the bed to your lap and kisses you hard and whispers it back to you.

You don't feel as lost once you realize that you're not as alone as you thought.


	8. Maria 3

You shouldn't be as surprised as you are.

You've been in relationships before; she has a way of surprising you that none of the others did and that's probably why none of them lasted very long.

You've been taken on several dates; your girlfriend seems to have a memory similar to an encyclopedia.

You fall a little bit more every time; you've gone soft and cheesy and she's not much better.

Your schedule is often limited and unpredictable; you've come home to the smell of something that's been burnt badly, her with a pout and a table set with takeout from your favourite Italian place three blocks over.

You laugh; with all of her skill sets, she can barely make toast without setting something on fire.

You have a sneaking suspicion that she is trying to be who you might want in someone; you're very well aware that she is still creating this side of herself.

You make sure she knows; you want her to know who she is and be that person, not someone she thinks you want in a partner.

You can see her struggle sometimes; you give in and play along because you love her.

You almost all of your time off together; sometimes nursing injuries or ranting about the stupidity of a baby agent; more often than not you fall asleep together on the couch and sometimes you try to teach her how to cook.

You usually end up sharing a shower; you tried to teach her cookies once and you both ended up covered in more flour than was in the mix.

You're Maria Hill, cold hearted Deputy Director and Agent of SHIELD; you're more of a girl than you will ever let anyone know.

You're ticklish; she finds this very quickly.

You love to be kissed awake; she has no problem with fulfilling this.

You enjoy time together; it doesn't have to be an expensive restaurant downtown although that is sometimes nice, you are just as comfortable eating pizza naked in bed with her.

You are often demanded to return to your naked state after you answer the door in your robe.

You like being the one to take care of her; she's learnt that she can seek solace in your arms when she struggles after a mission, and occasionally it's just because that's where she wants to be.

You're addicted; her smile and her laugh and her eyes and her body and her mind and her soul can melt you in seconds flat.

You're surprised every day by her; you've always been pretty good at reading people and despite her espionage training she seems to be genuinely comfortable with you.

You realize something one morning; you've been together just shy of two years.

You want to wake up to her every day for as long as possible.

You want her to move in with you.


	9. Natasha 4

You don't own a lot.

You spend a few weeks apartment hunting; it has to be close to base and open floor was preferred so you couldn't be backed into a corner easily.

You look and look; nothing seemed right and every time you walked out of another she would simply wink at you reassuringly and squeeze your hand.

You find the perfect one late one afternoon; you convince the realtor to let you stay because you're waiting for her to finish yelling at Sitwell.

You explore while you wait; three levels on the top floor of a renovated factory could all be yours.

You're falling in love with the exposed brick and hardwood floors the more you explore; you hear your name downstairs.

You tell her that she hasn't even looked around; she wants it purely because seeing you walk down those stairs was a sight she wanted to see every day.

You kiss her against the bannister.

You move in by the end of the month; you don't have a lot to contribute to the apartment other than your heavy lifting abilities.

You buy the outdoor deck chairs and table for the terrace.

You employ the Hawk and his handler and bribe them with beer and pizza; chocolate cake for Phil is what makes him cave.

You hear a joking question aimed your way; Barton asks when you're getting married and laughs.

You call him a pigeon and cut him off from alcohol.

Your eyes meet hers; she winks at you and kisses you over your plate.

You're kissed reassuringly on the cheek; she must have been able to see the flash of uncertainty across your face.

You're Natasha Romanoff; you spend the night wondering if you could handle marriage when you just only moved in together.

You're told not to worry; you've just been pushed over the edge twice beneath her in celebrations and tension relief.

You kiss her silent; you're not worried because you love her and you know she loves you.

Your breathing is heavy; you haven't had the marriage talk yet but you know it will work out.

You've learnt not to worry so much; whatever happens happens but you don't plan on going anywhere.

You flip your positions; you're met with a smirk and a moan.


	10. Maria 4

You're quite comfortable.

You think it's become quite natural; the way you work around and with each other in the apartment is easy and balanced and so simple.

You come home to her; you love it especially when she's fallen asleep on the couch and you see her more peaceful that you thought possible.

You've found a bakery across the street; you've had several breakfast dates there on a rare day off.

You discover that she can actually cook; it's not a wide range of dishes but enough to make you smirk in disbelief and cover her face in more flour.

You're told that it was a way to spend time with you; she genuinely enjoys it when you try to teach her.

You find out what you love; waking up to her, seeing her comfortable around the apartment, shopping at that one farmers market on the next block.

You find out what you hate; falling asleep to an empty bed and waking up the same way, making meals for one while she's off saving the world.

You miss her more than you think you should; for someone in your position, attachment isn't frowned upon but it is definitely seen as an avenue of exploitation.

You hate it; she returns home with an injury of some kind and you wonder aloud how that happens on a simple recon mission.

You're kissed silent the same way as you have been many times before; she shrugs and mutters something about trouble stalking her before she takes you to share a shower.

You're curious if it supposed to be this easy; for all you know by day it's simply an act she puts on.

You know it's not; by night she lets you see her in complete and raw honesty.

You're Maria Hill; you are so deep for this one girl you can't help but wonder if it's even possible for you heart and soul to be taken from your body and meshed with hers.

You crave little moments; when she watches you cook and acts as a taste tester, when she doesn't think you're watching and stares at you, to hear her laughs and to be the reason it happened in the first place.

You desire everything that could possibly be; you want her for the rest of your life, you want absolutely everything with her.

You realize one night when she smiles brighter than normal over dinner with Barton and Coulson.

You're a goner.


	11. Natasha 5

You loathe Russia.

You are currently tied to a chair; your latest mission thinks he's tough until you're called out by Coulson.

You want to go straight back to base; you can hear the pain in his voice when he tells you that she was almost caught in a cave in and he has been compromised.

You follow your orders; you don't want to and you almost lose yourself against the Hulk.

You don't bother changing once you're aboard; you seek her out immediately and try not to be so obvious in front of the Director which you're sure you've failed at miserably.

You check her out from across the bridge; Coulson conveniently hangs back when she takes you for debriefing and the moment you're alone you're checking her for any other injury besides the scratches on her face.

You're kissed and she begs you to be careful; the cave in was too close.

You promise her.

You play mind games with the trickster god; you win and you wonder if anyone warned Coulson to be careful.

You go up against the Hulk; you're pretty sure you've broken a bone somewhere but you don't stop because you're supposed to be fearless.

You bring him back; you call him a pigeon again after your cognitive recalibration is successful.

You fight an army of aliens; you're terrified because you are way out of your league but you're pretty sure it's the anger and grief and the need to get back to her that keeps you alive.

You're almost nuked; if it wasn't for Stark you would be dead and if it wasn't for him you wouldn't have been stuffed the puking point so soon after going through so much adrenalin.

You're bruised and battered and blood has dried on your skin; you let yourself into the apartment and you're immediately taken into her arms.

You let yourself be held; you whisper in her ear how much you need her.

You ask her to marry you in a shaky whisper.

You're stared at in disbelief; she says yes.

You're at City Hall; you made sure that the Gods were gone and that your pigeon wasn't working himself into the ground in grief to be your witness.

You're Natasha Hill; you once thought that love was for children, and now you wear your simple wedding band, proud to love and be loved.

You kiss your wife hello.


	12. Maria 5

You were expecting it to feel different.

You think you both were; you had been together for a while and married for six months already but nothing has really changed.

You now just wear a ring on your left hand; her matches.

You wake up to the same thing every morning; the only thing you want to wake up to and fall asleep next to and that is something she is always ready to make sure you get.

You begin to despise the organisation you work for; she is gone from her place next to you and even though you know that it comes with the territory it doesn't make you miss her any less.

You're greeted one night; she is leaning against the back of the couch in yoga pants and a crop top, her hair tied back and a beer in her hand.

You love the look of relaxed and casual Natasha; preferably without that bruise you can see peeking out from beneath the waistband.

You eye her ring and smirk; she's yours.

You've missed her; you ignore where your shoes land as you kick them off and make your way over silently and slowly.

You take her drink; she doesn't object as you take a sip, sit it on the side table and setting yourself between her legs.

You like having a routine; you never say goodbye when she has to leave, just a simple see you soon.

You have one when she returns; you choose to slowly reacquaint yourselves with each other over the night.

You feel her hands; your jacket is on the floor and your shirt is ridding up and there are lips on your neck, teeth biting.

You moan.

Your phone rings; she doesn't stop as you growl into the phone without a care as to who is on the other end because they're interrupting.

You make a mental note of the name; they will be on latrine duty for a month for this as you tell them to deal with it and hang up.

You're Maria Hill, and even though you're the Deputy Director, you're off the clock; your wife has come home and you're a little preoccupied to save the world.

You don't make it to the bedroom the first time; she makes you shake on the hardwood floors and you make her scream.

You whisper; only after you're bodies have stopped quivering as you come down from the high do you say hello.

You kiss her deeply; she drags you upstairs with a smirk.


	13. Natasha 6

You feel like it's too easy.

You take to missions lately like a fish does to water; you've actually started meddling because Steve _needs_ a girlfriend and you haven't seen Clint since you got married.

You have everything you need and what; a wife, a home, a good job and a good car as dork as it sounds.

You wait for the other shoe to drop; you're an assassin whose skill set has earned you enemies while you've inherited others simply from being employed.

Your boss is murdered by the ghost who put a bullet through you all those years ago; you wife is promoted and you're worried she might be next.

You know where you stand; loyalty was never a question for either of you and she takes the responsibility without falter while you hunt the ghost.

You're arrested; HYDRA was never gone and you're just as surprised as Steve is when he realizes who this ghost is.

You're bleeding; you watch as one soldier tases the other and you smirk proudly through the pain that your wife is as badass as you are.

You're scared; SHIELD will be gone in a matter of hours and all of your secrets will be out.

You spend the night together in a makeshift bed; this cave is lacking but you've had worse and you probably will have much worse very soon.

You're Natasha Hill; you try not cry as you realize the moment you let your secrets out is the point when you have to start running.

You have to leave her; you kiss her slowly and try to force your memory to remember the exact location of every freckle, the vibrancy of her eyes, the way her body feels against yours.

You're named and shamed on Capitol Hill; you walk out with your head held high.

You say goodbye over another grave; she begs you to come back to her and you're pretty sure Steve finally gets it.

You don't hug her; neither of you will let go if you do.

You promise with your lips; your chest feels like it's about to cave in and crush your heart.

You press one last kiss to her forehead and whisper that you will always love her.

You feel empty.

You suppose that's a good thing considering what you're planning to do.

You play with your wedding ring; you can see her silhouette in her car, not moving.

Your ledger will be overflowing with all shades of red; you don't look back once you speed off otherwise you'll break.

You don't break your promises.


End file.
